Back to the blogging scene

At last ! Master permitted me to post on my blog.. These past few days were a punishment of sorts. Master did not let me be intimate with him in any aspect except of course physically. Somehow my submissiveness put him off and he withdrew into his own shell. I was shut out completely to the extent that He did not interact with me for days on end. He forbade everything- intimacy, conversations, hugs, caresses,blogging... He flew to his hometown and left me here. As he left, he told me to evaluate myself and think over our relationship. I honestly felt secure and comfortable. I did NOT need to rethink at all. However, I just retained my faith in us and tried to live till He thought out His needs. Today he comes back to tell me He realizes the divinity of what we share..He needs nothing or none but me..

I was happy that He came back.believe me you.. But something inside me burst out sobbing- relief that he is back, sad that he needed to rethink..

However, thereafter the rains subsided, thunderstorm passed and peace reigned..He is mine as always, deliciously mine.. mine to savour, to yeild to..

I hope He never distances again from me this way. I hate it when You are away Saab, be with me na if not physically atleast dil se...

Master's slave shonali..

Skin glistening with sweat,
Words unable to form on her lips,
The whites of her eyes wild,
Her breathing ragged,
She looks up at Him,
Through the depths of His soul,
Into His heart
She utters one word

....Master

Eyes so deep,
Hands protecting,
He consumes her,
He owns her,
He cherishes her.
His most prized possession.

His slave...

I got this from Vixen's blog..Loved the way she has expressed everything that comprises a master slave relationship. Had to have it in my blog..

Master's take on love...

Master and I were awake till wee hours today morning..Making sweet sweet love as Master was not in the mood for aggression...Yay lucky me !
Just as we were about to drift off to sleep talking of mundane stuff, Master tells me "shonu, all love is selfish. For example, parents love thier kids so that the kids will be dependable later. Nothing called selfless love. ab so jao(Now u sleep)"

I wanted to tell him no Saab, I love you for you..pure and simple.. I wana exist for your pleasure..but I know he will say you do all this cos you gain pleasure from it..dont u?
I am unsettled after this talk. Dont feel so good about anything anymore..

What did you intend to do with this Saab? Did you mean something specifically?Do you want me to change in some way? Let me know please..Guide me here..

I wait for You

Its twilight,sun sets as the moons rises..Jaan, rise with the moon,bathe me in your soft moonshine of love. Come, lets have a moment of silent companionship.Silence that can convey my repentance,sorrow at having disobeyed You...I wait for You,to kneel at your feet, to serve you..End my misery, Oh come home to me Saab !

Saab, come home to me...

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me.

Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth.
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say My love! why sufferest thou?

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

(Longing By Matthew Arnold)
A night is over Saab, a day is almost over and no word from You.I wait for you...Dont make me wait so much.Its unbearable, this form of punishment. A slap,a punch maybe a caning anything that hurts but with You before me. Not this meaningless misery of separation. I am sorry. Call me..or better yet come back home to me...I long for You

Different Wells...

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that.

In one wellYou have just a few precious cups of water,
That "love" is literally something of yourself,
It can grow as slow as a diamond
If it is lost.

Your loveShould never be offered to the mouth of aStranger,
Only to someoneWho has the valor and daring
To cut piece of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

There are different wells within us.
Some fill with each good rai n,
Others are far, far too deep
For that.
(Ghazals of Hafiz; Translation Ladinsky, D)
Is this why I came back running to you Saab after all these years? My absolute trust in you...My need to humbly offer you my few precious cups of water and to beg You for Yours. You let me drink the tastiest most precious water I ever drank..Thank You, this kajira is grateful and at bliss..

Master's gal..

My Master says enough posts for today shonu..and I said yes Saab...

good nite people